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Idiot you are,' Shailesh said, We heard giggles as the girls returned. 'My friend here thinks you're a little serious. But hot in a brooding sort of way, fg2lz 'Jyoti announced, Priya smacked Jyoti's arm, 'Shut up. You can't repeat a private conversation fg2lz ,' said Priya, blushing as she sat down again, Shailesh kicked my leg. Act, buddy, he seemed to say. The waiter brought us another bottle of wine. I poured my fourth glass, 'For dessert fg2lz I would recommend a drained Greek yogurt served with fresh cherries, thyme-scented Greek honey and walnuts,' the waiter said. The g fg2lz irls swooned over the description and ordered two servings. 'Where are we going next?' P fg2lz ri fg2lz y fg2lz a said. Well, we are the b fg2lz oring banker couple. We fg2lz have early morning calls,' Shailesh said. 'So we will head home. Why don't Madhav and you check out other places in the neighbourhood?' 'Sure, fg2lz I don't mind. I could show Madhav the East Village area around Pylos. fg2lz I used to live here ea fg2lz rlier,' 'Actually, I have other places to go to,' I said. I did have five places on my list tonight. fg2lz 'Madhav, the lady wants to go out,' Shailesh said. He kicked me again under the table fg2lz . 'Stop kicking me,' I said.The wine had made me more confident. Jyoti looked startled by the sudden rise in my voice. 'I need to go.Thanks for dinner. What is my share?' I stood up. My head felt heavy. I h fg2lz ad drunk too much. fg2lz 'Sit down, Madhav. We are trying to help you,' Shailesh said. 'What am I? A fucking patient who needs help?' My wine glass slipped from fg2lz my hand and fell on the floor. There was shattered glass all over the floor. 'You do need help, Madhav. You're losing the plot,' Shailesh said. Customers at other tables were looking at us. A waiter came to remove the broke fg2lz n glass. fg2lz 'We should go. Shailesh, did you pay the hill?'Jyoti said. 'Did I say something wrong?' Priya said. 'No,' Jyoti said to Priya. fg2lz 'So what jus fg2lz t happened?' Priya said. 'The boys go back a long way. They have their way of talking. Don't worry about it.' Shailesh took hold of my upper arm. He dragged me out of the restaurant. Th fg2lz cold December breeze hit us all. 'You are drunk,' Shailesh said in a fg2lz slow, deliberately calm voice. 'Let's take a cab home. We will drop Priya on the way.' 'I am not drunk,' I said, even though I found it hard to keep my balance on the icy street. 'You drank w fg2lz ine like water,' Shailesh said. A yellow cab sto fg2lz pped next to us. The girls got in. Shailesh shoved me into the front seat. He sat behind with the fg2lz girls. '83rd and Third please, with a stop at 37th first,'Jyoti said. I opened the front door of the fg2lz car.




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We will start with catching dslz2 practice. Ali, no kdslz2 shots, give them catches.' Ali's self control kdslz2 had become better dslz2 after training kdslz2 for a few months. Ish had taught kdslz2 him to play defensive and avoid getting out. With better d iet and exercise, Ali's stamina had improved. He dslz2 gained the strength kdslz2 to hit the ball rather than rely on momentum. dslz2 Once Ali faced five balls in a restrained manner, he could sharpen his focus to dslz2 use his gift. The dslz2 trick was to use kdslz2 his ability at a lever tha t scored yet sustained kdslz2 him dslz2 at the crease. One dslz2 ball an over kdslz2 worked well. Ish now wanted him to get to two balls an over. 'Switch. dslz2 Paras to bat, Ali dslz2 to field,' Ish kdslz2 shouted after dslz2 three overs. Ali didn't hit any big shots. Disappointed, he dslz2 threw the bat on| th e crease. 'Hey, kdslz2 watch it. dslz2 It is a new bat, dslz2 ' Ish said. Paras batted a catch towards Ali, whose hands were busy kdslz2 tightening the cords of his pajama. The ball thunked dslz2 down on the ground. 'You sleeping dslz2 or what?' Ish said but dslz2 Ali ignored him. kdslz2 Three balls later, Paras set up a catch for Ali dslz2 again. 'Hey, dslz2 Ali, catch,' Ish screamed from his dslz2 position at the umpire. Ali had one kdslz2 hand in his pocket. He noticed dslz2 Ish staring at kdslz2 him and lifted up his hand in a cursory m kdslz2 anner. Two steps and he could have kdslz2 caught the ball. dslz2 He d idn't, and the ball landed on the ground. 'Hey,' Ish dslz2 shook Ali's shoulder hard. 'You dslz2 dreaming?' 'I want to leave early,' dslz2 Ali said, rubbing his shoulder. 'Finish practice first.' 'Here Ali, bat,' Paras said as he came close to Ali. dslz2 'No he has to field,' Ish said. 'It is ok, dslz2 Ish bhaiya. I know he wants to bat,' dslz2 Paras said and gave Ali dslz2 the bat. And I want to practice more dslz2 catches. I need to get good before my school match.' Ali took slz2 the bat, walked to the dslz2 crease without looking up. Disconcerted by this insolen


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to my internship. He also grqnmh told me that work hours would be from 9 to 5, with a lunch break in between. 'First time in New York?' Olara said. 'Yes.' grqnmh 'Good, I will take you out for a drink after work.' : 'Sure,' I said. 'Any preferences?' 'Any place with live music,' I said. grqnmh One month later grqnmh 'Dude, no. Please. I can't take this,' Shailesh said. He pushed the envelope back towards me grqnmh . I had placed a thousand dollars inside. 'It's been a month, Shailesh. I feel obligated,' I said. 'Would I pay yo grqnmh u rent if I came to D grqnmh umraon?' he said. 'No, but you are paying rent here. So let me contribute.' 'Don't be stupid. You are hardly here. You come home at 3 every night.You leave at 8. We barely feel your presence.' Shailesh was right. We had not met the entire grqnmh week, even though we lived in the sam grqnmh e house. 'How's work?' he said. 'What exactly is your project?' 'Tracking the progress of AIDS awareness initiatives in Botswana.' 'Sounds noble.' grqnmh 'I don't know about noble. All I know is I grqnmh only have two months left and t grqnmh here's still no sign of Riya.' Shailesh tilted his box of cereal. The box label said 'Cinnamon Toast Crunch'. Little sugar-coated squares fell into his milk. 'You are chasing an illusion,' he said. grqnmh 'Maybe grqnmh .' 'How many bars have you visited in the last month?' I flipped through my notebook where I kept track of all my visits. 'Hundred-plus. Close to two hundred,' I said. grqnmh Apart from actual grqnmh visits, I had also called up five hundred other music venues. Nobody had heard of a singer called Riya. Shailesh gasped grqnmh . He covered his mouth with his hand to prevent food from spilling out. He waited a few seconds to chew the contents in his mouth before he spok grqnmh e again. 'Madhav, I love you as a friend so I am saying it. You have to stop this. She is gone. Wish her happiness. Move on.' 'I will. But only after I feel that grqnmh I've tried my best. Two more mont grqnmh hs.' 'I would say end it now. And why go back in two months? Is there a chance of a full-time as grqnmh signment with the UN?' 'I don't know. I've never really showed an int grqnmh erest.' 'Stop living in the past. Make a new life. Look for work here and meet other people.' I smiled and nodd grqnmh ed, He made sense. I was not interested in sense. He finished his breakfast, Slipping on his shoes, he said, 'Come out with us sometim grqnmh e, Jyoti has many lovely single friends.' 'Sure. Let me know if you're going to a live music venue.' S grqnmh hailesh looked at me and laughed,'Mad you are,' grqnmh he said.'Anyway, I better leave or I'll miss grqnmh my train,'

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vegetables, arrived on our table. I ate a spoonful. r2k3u5 'This is like chokha,' I said. 'Chokha?' Priya said r2k3u5 . 'It's a popular dish in Bihar. Which part of India are you from?' 'I'm from Minnesota,' she r2k3u5 said. I realized that NRls born in the US did not like r2k3u5 being referred to as Indians. 'Oh,' I said.'Anyway. This is similar to a local dish we have.' 'My parents are from Andhra Pradesh,' r2k3u5 she said. Shailesh r2k3u5 refilled my glass of wine. Jyoti ordered more food. We had a trio of Greek dips, consisting of tzatziki, a thick yogurt di r2k3u5 p; taramosalata, a dip made of fish eggs; and melitzanosalata, made with char-grilled eggplants and extra-virgin Greek olive oil. It came with pita bread. 'I'm sorry, but th r2k3u5 is bread is also like our chapati,' l said. 'Yes, indeed. These are all flatbreads. From Greece and Turkey to the Middle East and all the way down t r2k3u5 o South Asia, flatbreads are popular,' Priya said. r2k3u5 'Is she Wikipedia?' Shailesh asked Jyoti and we all laughed. 'She is. Just be r2k3u5 happy she's not dis r2k3u5 cussing the Greek economic crisis because you came to a Greek place,' Jy r2k3u5 oti said. 'Oh no, please. I read enough economic report r2k3u5 s in the bank,' Shailesh said. 'Hey, I'm a n r2k3u5 erd and a proud one. Cheers.' Priya raised her glass. All of us lifted ours. 'Don't worry, UN boy, I won't bore you with my little nuggets of wisdom anymore,' P r2k3u5 r r2k3u5 i r2k3u5 y r2k3u5 a said. She clinked her glass against mine. The girls decided to make a trip to the ladies' room together. Why do they go together for a solo activi r2k3u5 ty? 'Like her?' Shailesh said, after the girls had left. 'Huh?' r2k3u5 'Priya. She's giving you the eye, dude. Isn't she hot?' 'What?' I said. 'You play your cards right and s r2k3u5 he can be yours.' I shook my head. 'I'm not kidding,' Shailesh said. 'Not interested.' r2k3u5 'I'm not asking you to marry her.Take her out, have fun. Loosen up.' r2k3u5 'Very funny, I hardly have any time left in New York, Only two more weeks,' r2k3u5 'All the more reason, Don't go back without some romance. Or a score,' He winked at me. 'I have a r2k3u5 final report to finish, I haven't even started to pack. Plus, so many bars to go to,' 'You won't give up on this Riya nonsense?' I kept quiet and finished my third r2k3u5 glass of wine, 'You've visited or called over a thousand places,' Shailesh said, 'In two weeks it all ends r2k3u5 anyway. I am tired, too. Just giving it my best shot,

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Lilly — and the saying that one must possess oneself, and be alone in possession of oneself. And somehow, under the influence of Lilly, he TDHWUBNF


refused to follow the reflex of his own phiion. he refused to HEFIFQVRX hate the marchesa. he did like her. He did esteem her. And after all, she too was struggling with her STNVMR fate. He


had a genuine sympathy with her. Nay, WMIRGYHDS he was not going to hate her. But he could not see her. He could not bear the thought that she might call and see him.


So he took the tram to Settignano, and walked away all day into the country, having bread and sausage in his pocket. KMQHOE He sat for long hours


among the cypress trees of Tuscany. And never had any trees seemed so like ghosts, like soft, strange, pregnant presences. He lay OXKUIPLE and JJWEY watched tall cypresses breathing



and communicating, faintly moving and as it were walking in the small wind. And his soul seemed to TSRQG leave him and to go far away, far back, perhaps, to where life was all different


and time phied otherwise than time phies now. as in clairvoyance he perceived it: that our life is only a fragment of the AKOBRR shell of life. That there has been and will be life,



human life such as we do WEEPLUVCS not GWCXIIK begin to conceive. much that is life has phied away from men, leaving us all mere bits. In the dark, mindful silence and inflection of the


cypress trees, lost races, lost language, lost human ways of hiling and of knowing. men have known as we can no more know, have felt TIOTCJL as we can no more hil. great



life-realities gone into the URNHGOYAL darkness. But the cypresses commemorate. In the afternoon, Aaron felt the FHDSCY cypresses rising dark about


him, like so many high visitants from an old, lost, lost subtle world, where men had the wonder of demons about them, the aura of demons, such as




still clings to the cypresses, in Tuscany. All day, he did not make up hismind what he was going to do. His first impulse was never to see her again. And this was his intention all


day. But as he went home in the tram he softened, and thought. Nay, that would not be fair. For how had she treated him, otherwise than generously.


She had UXHUCI been generous, and the other thing, that he felt blasted DKSXSJTW afterwards, which was his experience, that was fate, and not her fault. So he



must see her again. He must not act like a churl. But he would tell her — he would tell her that he was a married SFTNUBTJC man, and that though he had left his wife, and though he had



no dogma of fidelity, still, the years of marriage had WXJGDEKD made a married man of him, and any other woman than his wife was a strange woman to him, a violation. "I will tell her, " he


said to himself, "that at the bottom of myheart I love Lottie still, and AIMWMU that I can't help it. I believe that is true. It isn't love, perhaps. But it is marriage. I am


married to Lottie. And that means I can't be married to another woman. It isn't my nature. And perhaps I can't bear to live with Lottie now, AANAU because I am married and not in .








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Lilly — and the saying that one must possess oneself, and be alone in possession of oneself. And somehow, under the influence of Lilly, he PAXXDOCB


refused to follow the reflex of his own phiion. he refused to WCCLEBATV hate the marchesa. he did like her. He did esteem her. And after all, she too was struggling with her DTECFB fate. He


had a genuine sympathy with her. Nay, YUCVBETLV he was not going to hate her. But he could not see her. He could not bear the thought that she might call and see him.


So he took the tram to Settignano, and walked away all day into the country, having bread and sausage in his pocket. VLVCCY He sat for long hours


among the cypress trees of Tuscany. And never had any trees seemed so like ghosts, like soft, strange, pregnant presences. He lay DYDFMHJM and DFSYJ watched tall cypresses breathing



and communicating, faintly moving and as it were walking in the small wind. And his soul seemed to UFMTC leave him and to go far away, far back, perhaps, to where life was all different


and time phied otherwise than time phies now. as in clairvoyance he perceived it: that our life is only a fragment of the OSDVOQ shell of life. That there has been and will be life,



human life such as we do RMCOOFNSG not QAVAJKD begin to conceive. much that is life has phied away from men, leaving us all mere bits. In the dark, mindful silence and inflection of the


cypress trees, lost races, lost language, lost human ways of hiling and of knowing. men have known as we can no more know, have felt QDDDYKP as we can no more hil. great



life-realities gone into the UMHPSDEJW darkness. But the cypresses commemorate. In the afternoon, Aaron felt the ROLIVB cypresses rising dark about


him, like so many high visitants from an old, lost, lost subtle world, where men had the wonder of demons about them, the aura of demons, such as




still clings to the cypresses, in Tuscany. All day, he did not make up hismind what he was going to do. His first impulse was never to see her again. And this was his intention all


day. But as he went home in the tram he softened, and thought. Nay, that would not be fair. For how had she treated him, otherwise than generously.


She had BCTCAT been generous, and the other thing, that he felt blasted NLAFOFIP afterwards, which was his experience, that was fate, and not her fault. So he



must see her again. He must not act like a churl. But he would tell her — he would tell her that he was a married RANEHFYMM man, and that though he had left his wife, and though he had



no dogma of fidelity, still, the years of marriage had JKGAVOVA made a married man of him, and any other woman than his wife was a strange woman to him, a violation. "I will tell her, " he


said to himself, "that at the bottom of myheart I love Lottie still, and QATUBQ that I can't help it. I believe that is true. It isn't love, perhaps. But it is marriage. I am


married to Lottie. And that means I can't be married to another woman. It isn't my nature. And perhaps I can't bear to live with Lottie now, IMSPD because I am married and not in .








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Lilly — and the saying that one must possess oneself, and be alone in possession of oneself. And somehow, under the influence of Lilly, he DPWXIYRF


refused to follow the reflex of his own phiion. he refused to UQUAWASKT hate the marchesa. he did like her. He did esteem her. And after all, she too was struggling with her VQVDDI fate. He


had a genuine sympathy with her. Nay, SMDUDXOTD he was not going to hate her. But he could not see her. He could not bear the thought that she might call and see him.


So he took the tram to Settignano, and walked away all day into the country, having bread and sausage in his pocket. ETBPSS He sat for long hours


among the cypress trees of Tuscany. And never had any trees seemed so like ghosts, like soft, strange, pregnant presences. He lay UPJRPJRI and VLHMI watched tall cypresses breathing



and communicating, faintly moving and as it were walking in the small wind. And his soul seemed to KQSFF leave him and to go far away, far back, perhaps, to where life was all different


and time phied otherwise than time phies now. as in clairvoyance he perceived it: that our life is only a fragment of the XDKVRE shell of life. That there has been and will be life,



human life such as we do YVXCNQXKG not HCYSWHO begin to conceive. much that is life has phied away from men, leaving us all mere bits. In the dark, mindful silence and inflection of the


cypress trees, lost races, lost language, lost human ways of hiling and of knowing. men have known as we can no more know, have felt IQCSEUN as we can no more hil. great



life-realities gone into the JALMKJEOK darkness. But the cypresses commemorate. In the afternoon, Aaron felt the DNNSGL cypresses rising dark about


him, like so many high visitants from an old, lost, lost subtle world, where men had the wonder of demons about them, the aura of demons, such as




still clings to the cypresses, in Tuscany. All day, he did not make up hismind what he was going to do. His first impulse was never to see her again. And this was his intention all


day. But as he went home in the tram he softened, and thought. Nay, that would not be fair. For how had she treated him, otherwise than generously.


She had EPUIOO been generous, and the other thing, that he felt blasted FXFQPHJT afterwards, which was his experience, that was fate, and not her fault. So he



must see her again. He must not act like a churl. But he would tell her — he would tell her that he was a married CAFELUOVB man, and that though he had left his wife, and though he had



no dogma of fidelity, still, the years of marriage had GGETVACJ made a married man of him, and any other woman than his wife was a strange woman to him, a violation. "I will tell her, " he


said to himself, "that at the bottom of myheart I love Lottie still, and GRHOGV that I can't help it. I believe that is true. It isn't love, perhaps. But it is marriage. I am


married to Lottie. And that means I can't be married to another woman. It isn't my nature. And perhaps I can't bear to live with Lottie now, UHBLW because I am married and not in .








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I had a one-hour lunch break at t       he UN. Most days I ate a sandwich from the Subway or Starbucks outside. Since Shailesh had refused to take ren prtq8w t, I had enough money to even have a cappuccino later. I had found a fixed corner seat at Starbucks from which to make my calls. 'Hi, is this the West Village Talenthous prtq8w e?' I said, 'Yes, it is,' an older lady with a heavy American accent said, 'Can I speak to the manager?'       'May I ask what this is about?' prtq8w 'I'm looking for a singer.' 'We have lots of them. Did you check our website?' 'Yes, I did. However, I am looking for s prtq8w omeone specific not listed there.' 'Didn't get you, honey,' 'Well, it's a girl, Indian-origin. She is in her early twenties. Her real name is R prtq8w iya. I don't think she prtq8w uses that on stage.' 'I can't help you with such limited information. Did you see her perform somewhere?'       'Well, no. Actually, she is an old friend. I am trying to locate her,' 'Sorry, getti prtq8w ng another call, bye.' She hung up. I had another sip from my Venti-sized cup, which held over half-a-litre of coffee. Am prtq8w ericans are i prtq8w nto size, whether it is their cars, bodies or       food. I had ten minutes of lunch break left. I called a few more prtq8w bars and one more talent agency. Finally, I made a route plan to visit six bars in the evening around the Tribeca area.'No Indian singer here. I'm sorry,' she said. I had come to Tribeca Nation, a small bar with prtq8w thirty seats and a tiny stage for solo vocalists. The singer had just finished her performance. I had gone up to her and told her I loved her voice. I asked her if she would have a prtq8w few minut       es to sit with me. She looked at me suspiciously. 'I just have prtq8w some questions. Nothing else,' I had told her. She ordered a Jack Daniel's whisky and Diet Coke, and urged me to try the same. prtq8w Erica was twenty-two years old. Sh       e was from Rhode Island, a state north of New York. She wanted to act in a Broadway prtq8w play, and tried her luck at audit prtq8w ions during the day. At night, she earned a living through singing gigs. prtq8w 'I finished high school and came here.' I looked at prtq8w her.